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From Now On, If You Ride An Escalator The Traditional Way You're The Biggest Squid On The Planet

Never in all my years of riding escalators, watching people ride escalators, and watching people riding people riding escalators have I ever seen someone put such a beatdown on the moving steel stairs quite like this. Like this escalator will never be the same after this. It tries to go to its local watering hole, as it does every night, to hang with its escalator pals, maybe try and pick up some elevators, and now it has to deal with constant heckles from everyone for the rest of eternity. Just slap an Out of Service sign on this poor guy and demote it to stairs permanently because it’s done out here. I mean just look at that form! This kid just Mary Poppins’d all over this defenseless escalator for the whole world to see. Steph Curry doesn’t hold his follow through that well after he crosses Chris Paul into oblivion for an open jumper. That dude Vince Carter dunked on at the Olympics didn’t get it this bad. Chris Dudley at least tried to fight back after Shaq shoved him into the photographers. This escalator just sat there and took it like a chump. A sad, sad day for the escalator community that they wont soon forget.