Just A Classic Dad Prank Where Pops Put A 12-Inch Dildo And Lube Into His Son's Luggage

Classic dad stuff. Ahhhhhhh the ol’ dildo in the bag gag! We’ve seen it a million times. By the way, that is 100% the laugh of a dad who would pull a dildo stunt. He was very very pleased with himself. He’s gonna be telling this story at every holiday until he dies. And it’s on video! Weird dads gonna weird dad.

No joke though, I think about people planting shit in my luggage all the time. I’m super paranoid about it. I check the contents of my luggage no less than 800 times before I leave the house to make sure nobody fucked with it. Then I check it 800 more times in the uber. I check like a mad man. I check even though no one else touches my backpack and suitcases but me. Is that crazy? It might be a little crazy but I don’t wanna end up like that poor guy. Or worse. The dildo isn’t so bad cause it’s not malicious. I always envision someone planting a loaded gun in my duffel bag. I picture myself standing in the security line as a low murmur starts between panicked-looking TSA agents. I wonder whats up. Then I picture them pulling my bag from the conveyor belt, opening it and discovering a loaded pistol. I’ve had actual nightmares about. Who would be mean enough to put a loaded pistol in my duffel bag? I DON’T KNOW! That’s the scary part! H8ers be everywhere. But now TSA thinks it’s my loaded pistol and I’m off to get every orifice of my body hollowed out and my life is over. Fuck.

Anyway. LOL a dildo and lube. Classic.