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Islanders Frankie Borrelli Turned Into a Legitimate Crazy Person Last Night

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Messages from the deep, shallows of the NJ Transit Bus…

Yes I’m writing this on my way home from New York City to the gross New Jersey I call home for the next few months. The bus home on a Saturday is as gross as it gets and I’m in the last row next to a guy who has not showered in the calendar year. I might need to shower three times when I get home.

Anyways, last night before I went out I had the incredible opportunity to witness Islander Frankie Borelli. The Isles were playing the Red Wings and Frankie stayed in the office while his girlfriend and friends (all Rangers fans) went to MSG to see Rangers vs Calgary. It was apparently a birthday gift from her cousins to go to the game but Frankie refuses to miss an Islander game so there was absolutely no way he was going even if his girlfriend was gonna appear on the jumbotron. An absolutely diabolical move.

I had heard the rumors and seen the constant fights he gets in with Glenny about Henrik Lundquist but seeing this in the flesh was something. The Islanders fell behind basically as quick as humanly possible. In the blink of an eye it was 3-0. He wanted to stab someone. This was the end of his world as he knew it, despite 30 or so games to play in the season.

Eventually the Isles crept back into the game making it 3-2, but Detroit extended their lead late in the 3rd to make it 5-2. Essentially the game was over unless one thing happened: a five minute major penalty resulting in basically a 5 minute free for all being a man up. The Isles immediately cut into the lead making it 5-4. Frankie was transforming into a crazy person and I whipped out my phone to document this for the world. Right as I turned on my camera they tied it.

GAME TIME. Such an outrageous, spontaneous thing to yell. What does that even mean? Poor Colby, one of our talented video guys, was attempting to change one of the TVs to the basketball game and was having the hardest of times. He was trying to do this for no less than 20 minutes and Frankie wouldn’t allow him to move away and sit down because he was good luck standing there underneath the TVs. No one could move, no one could even think. We were being held hostage.

Boom! Islanders take the lead after scoring four goals in the final 6 minutes of the game. Frankie legit runs away. Runs into Dave’s office for no reason. Screaming uncontrollably.

Red Wings tie it. Frankie legit rips the cushion off of the recliner he was on. He felt the goal coming. I was scared. We all feared for our lives.

A too many men on the ice penalty is called and then taken back by the refs. Frankie couldn’t understand the call. He was the most shocked and flabbergasted I’ve seen someone maybe ever. Pure shock. In his mind the refs should be fired and never allowed to work a pro game again.

Now we head to OT and I don’t even know what I’m rooting for. Win or lose he’s going to start a fire.

The Red Wings get a penalty which in overtime is basically game set match allowing the Isles to have a 4 on 3 advantage. In seconds the Islanders score and win the game miraculously coming back from three goals down with 6 minutes to play. Probably one of the crazier comebacks they’ve had in the regular season in years (I’m not a big hockey guy but I assume this is true)

Frankie goes nuts, storms off, grabs his coat to meet his girlfriend and friends at a bar to scream in their faces. He actually tried to play it cool, but he grabbed the wrong coat and had to come back 20 seconds later. And that was it. That’s probably the last we see of Frankie Borelli. I just assume he murdered a homeless guy in pure joy or something else a serial killer would do and he’ll never be back.

There’s 26 games left in the regular season. It’s not like this was the last week of the season. I cannot imagine what he’s like during those times. I’m like this with the Yankees, we all are with our favorite teams, but admittedly there’s not this desperation like it is being an Islanders fan. During the day he’s this normal dude, Dave’s right hand man, but when the puck drops he turns into a monster. He’ll murder you if it means the Islanders are gonna score a goal.

A future electric chair for all Islanders hockey games will end this guy. Barstool Sports will be responsible for a murder and that may be the end of this company.