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The Olympics Have Barely Begun and Johnny Weir is the Winner

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Stop it, Johnny! The rest of the fashionistas in Peyongchang have families! The Olympics are supposed to be about bringing people together in the spirit of competition. There is no competition if you’re going to lock up the gold medal for Fabulousness before the Games even begin! Johnny in a blazer/shorts combo. Johnny in drag. Johnny in pearls. Johnny with a garland of roses. Johnny in sequins. Nobody else stands a chance.

But then again, this is the kind of thing we should’ve seen coming once they let the professionals compete. When it comes to style, he is the 1992 Dream Team. The Red Army team of the ’70s. You have to put aside any idea of beating him. All you can do is sit back, watch, and appreciate that you’re seeing the greatest there ever was and ever will be.

And if possible, you dance:

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