At this point, everybody in the world knows about the beatdown that Jason Kelce put on during the Eagles’ Super Bowl Parade yesterday. As soon as everybody saw his Mummers costume first thing in the morning, we knew we were gonna be in for a day of Kelce getting after it. But nobody in their wildest dreams could have predicted that performance. Kelce got IN ONE and it was hands down the most electric showing in championship parade history. His speech on the Art Museum steps will go down in history right there next toThe Gettysburg Address and Herb Brooks’ speech before the Miracle on Ice.
I, like the many other millions of people in Philly yesterday, was ready for Kelce to take his parade performance right from the Art Museum straight back to City Hall to stay for good.
And apparently Mayor Kenney agrees. The Mayor called into 94.1 WIP yesterday and made it very clear that Kelce would beat the
shit crap out of him in an election and that he’d gladly step down from office to give him the position. Think about that for a second here. The mayor of a major city in America called into that city’s sports talk radio station after a Super Bowl parade and needed to get bleeped out. Ain’t nothing wrong with the mayor getting a little fired up in all the action. Goddamn do I love Philly.
Yesterday was a ridiculous day that everybody in this city will remember for the rest of their lives. I’m sure everybody else who isn’t from Philly is sick of hearing about it already but whatever. Jason Kelce is a legend. Mayor Kenney is a legend. The city of Philadelphia never really held anything back before to begin with, but now this city has become totally unchained. Nothing but savagery from here on out. From the mayor to the athletes to the fans to everybody. Pure, unadulterated savagery. Now let’s run back that Kelce speech one last time.