Jimmy Garoppolo Has Just Become The Highest Paid Player In The NFL! OH MY GOD!

Wow! Holy shit! Can you guys believe it?! A quarterback who just signed a new deal is the highest paid player in the NFL! This definitely isn’t something that happens every single offseason when a quarterback signs a new deal!

Two main things about this, for me, are that it’s just further evidence that the Patriots were never going to be able to keep Jimmy G. People can bitch and moan about getting a second rounder in return but I think enough reports have surfaced to show that Belichick was taking less to make sure Jimmy was put in a good position and wasn’t going to be on a team the Patriots played regularly. He wasn’t going to send Jimmy to Cleveland. Jimmy wanted to start and he wanted to get paid, he was done holding a clipboard, there was absolutely nothing the Patriots could do unless they wanted to part ways with the greatest quarterback in football history and current NFL MVP. That would’ve been foolish.

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Second, I’m so fucking jealous of Jimmy G. Dude’s rich, handsome, has two Super Bowl rings, and has started seven games in his NFL career. He’s thrown something like 250 passes. If that doesn’t inspire you then I think you’re not capable of being inspired. Dude really hasn’t done anything at all and he’s the highest paid player in the sport (for the time being) and is already as decorated as the likes of the Manning brothers, John Elway, Bart Starr, and Roger Staubach. That’s the life right there. If I was a quarterback in the draft I’d kill to get drafted by the Pats, have Bill and Brady do all the work, get me my rings, then get me paid. Everything that duo touches turns to gold, just ask Matt Cassel.

PS – God love Tom Brady. All these quarterbacks getting huge deals and Tom still suits up for 15 bucks and a fistful of almonds every year.

PPS – I still haven’t learned how to spell Garoppolo. Is it two Rs or two Ps?! I never get it right.