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The Family That Sells Crystal Meth Together, Stays Together

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NY Post - A woman and her two sons are accused of transporting meth from Texas to an Atlanta-area house.

News outlets report warrants for 56-year-old San Juana Barrera, 37-year-old Alex Perez and 32-year-old Cresencio Perez say they drove with more than 400 grams of meth stashed in their SUV’s tires on Jan. 25.

Gwinnett County police’s T.C. Joseph says Cresencio Perez said he brought his mother to allay suspicion. Barrera said at a hearing she didn’t know her sons were transporting drugs. All three are charged with drug trafficking.

Investigators found what the DEA estimates as $1 million in crystal meth and liquid meth at the Norcross home.

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What a beautiful family! This story makes my heart melt into a million little puddles. I spend a lot of time on the internet. Almost as if being on the internet is my job. And I see so many stories about family members killing one another, stealing, backstabbing, and everything in between. I read some of the worst things ever. And then I see a story like this and it makes it all better. Look at this bunch- just one big happy family, transporting a million dollars worth of crystal meth with each other. That car ride was probably such a delight. Telling stories, sharing childhood memories, singing along to the radio, have a merry ol’ time.

And it is the perfect foil to Breaking Bad. All Skylar and idiot ass Walk Jr had to do was be cool with their dad making millions upon millions upon millions of dollars. It wasn’t that complicated! Your dad has cancer, he’s gonna die, just let him rake in the cash and shut your stupid mouths about it. I know people hate Skylar, but Walt Jr aka Flynn aka Stutter McBreakfast was so much worse. JUST LET YOUR DAD GIVE YOU MONEY, YOU ASSHOLE. He had no problem accepting the car, but god forbid he lets his dad sell a little meth and set him up for life. God I hate that kid.

So that’s why I love this family so much. And the best part?

Gwinnett County police’s T.C. Joseph says Cresencio Perez said he brought his mother to allay suspicion. Barrera said at a hearing she didn’t know her sons were transporting drugs. All three are charged with drug trafficking.

They didn’t tell their mom, they were going to surprise her!

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“Surprise, ma! You just helped us transport millions of dollars in crystal and liquid meth! Let’s go get milkshakes!”

It sucks knowing I’ll never make my mom that happy. The bar has been raised. It’s hard to admit, but this family just put every other family on notice. If you don’t give your mom a pound of narcotics, minimum, the next time you go home, you are a terrible son and should be deleted from the will at once.