Mets Reportedly Sign Todd Frazier To A 2-Year, $17 Million Contract

The Mets are bringing Todd Frazier back to the Tri-State Area! Did you know he is from New Jersey? Buddy, when I say Todd Frazier is from New Jersey I mean he is FROM New Jersey. Close your eyes, turn on your Vincent Chase voice and say “You kidding? I am New Jersey Boulevard”. Now open your eyes. You are now Todd Frazier, New Jersey baseball legend. A little place called Toms River, NJ to be exact. The same Toms River that is a Little League World Series star making factory? Uhhhh ya think? All Toddy Boy did was go 4-for-4 with a leadoff home run and was the winning pitcher in the championship game against Japan. So go ahead and check that Clutch Gene box.

On a serious note, I’m happy the Mets locked up an actual Major League Third Baseman to play the hot corner. Frazier can hit bombs, has a good glove, and once stood next to Derek Jeter before a game. That’s pretty much everything you look for in a baseball player, low batting average be damned. The only people that still care about batting average these days are the people who voted for Miguel Cabrera to win the 2012 AL MVP. That ain’t no thing for The Toddfather! Toddy Too Hotty! Todd Whamgodd! (I imagine it’s pretty clear that I’m trying to talk myself into a signing when I start with the ridiculous nicknames).

While all the other owners are staring down the Players Union and refuse to sign a soul, the Baseball Maverick is out here crossing the imaginary picket line and plucking guys at a bargain rate just so he can field an actual professional baseball team before his big arms hit the market. Who cares if the owners do this at the Wilpons every time the Mets sign another guy in his 30s to a contract?

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Does it concern me that the Mets technically still have an open starting spot at 2nd base, the 2015 Reds that went 69-93 are slowly being rebuilt in Flushing, and Brandon Phillips was recently shouting out being in New York on Instagram?

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Of course! But beggars can’t be choosers, a saying which applies both to Mets fans as well as their owners. I don’t love the thought of a team built around pitching having a slow tired infield of Adrian Gonzalez, Asdrubal Cabrera, Jose Reyes, and Todd Frazier if things go south with Rosario and Dom Smith. But I also would rather have a guy like Frazier playing third than whoever the Mets tab as the next Eric Campbell.

I guess this means the Mets finally gave up on David Wright once his body actually started decomposing and the medical staff had given up any hope. Okay, that was ugly, especially since he is my favorite baseball player. But this whole move caught me completely off guard, so I’m just typing whatever flies into my brain. The fact Frazier was nice enough to act like David Wright is still alive makes me like him already.

And I know that Thumbs Down Guy is a Mets fan that became a viral sensation after he gave Frazier the Thumbs Down during a Yankees game. But he is on drugs if he thinks he is going to latch on with Mets fans now that Frazier is playing in Queens. TDG made his bed when he was doing those spots with the Yankees and helped inspire a run that led the Bronx Bombers to Game 7 of the World Series. There’s only room for 1 viral thumb guy on my team and his name in Frank “The Motherfucking Tank” Fleming. Despite much evidence to the contrary, we are a Thumbs Up team in Flushing.

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And we all know how Frank feels about the Yankees.

GANGSTA!!!

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P.S. I found an extremely rare picture of a young Frazier and Jeter together on the diamond.

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