A Quick Little Message From The City Of Philadelphia To All The Patriots Fans

Eagles fans have been waiting 13 years for this moment. To put that into perspective, Portnoy’s next girlfriend was only 5 years old the last time the Philadelphia Eagles were in the Super Bowl. Today, she and the rest of Philadelphia get another shot at this. A city that is constantly overlooked. A city that is constantly shit on by the rest of the country/world. A city that gets disrespected time after time after time. This isn’t a football game that’s being played today. This is a war and the city of Philadelphia is taking back the respect we deserve. Everybody else can just go fuck themselves.

The Declaration of Independence. Rocky II. Rocky IV. HitchBot.

The city of Philadelphia prides ourselves on the being the scrappy underdogs who end dynasties. And now it’s time to do it again tonight. I just don’t know how in the friggin’ heck we’re supposed to make it until 6:30. Time to start sluggin’ down some Riot Juice.