As you probably saw, my good pal Uncle Chaps blogged the video I tweeted out just earlier of a crazy guy on my bus trying to fight the bus driver. Figured I’d give my own account now that I finally got home…
First of all, elephant in the room. Yes, I am a daily bus rider. I still live in New Jersey for the next few months until I move into NYC, so I’m still taking an hour and a half bus to and from the city for work since there’s no train near me. Last night I engaged in some extracurricular activities and hopped on a bus home this early afternoon. The Port Authority (NYC’s Bus Terminal) is a terrible, terrible place. The only time there are normal people with teeth at this place is during rush hour, but even then it’s a madhouse and there’s zero sense of direction. Avoid at all costs.
As I’m getting to my gate there’s a spanish speaking family with children no older than two years old just running around like we’re at the park. I get in line next to them and notice a tall, African American fella approach me and ask if I had a lighter. I don’t smoke so I gave him the bad news and he seemed to think I was lying which I didn’t know how to respond to. He walked away to God knows where. Eventually the bus arrives and I get on. At about the halfway mark of the trip I notice the tall fella from before is at the very front of the bus. He’s listening to music on his phone with no headphones. Just playing it out loud as if he’s the only person on the bus. The driver, a nice dude from my perspective, is beginning to get irritated so he tells the fella to please lower the music or move away from him so he can focus on driving a bus full of people. This request did not sit well with the tall fella and he began to yell obscenities of all kind and threaten the bus driver as this bad boy is going 60 mph on the highway. Here I am just trying to get home and enjoy a Saturday of nothing, meanwhile this fucking guy is trying to crash the bus and kill everyone cause he couldn’t listen to Migos on his speaker phone.
As he moves away from the front he sits right in front of me. Fuck my life. As I’m praying he doesn’t turn around and say a word to me, he continues to berate the driver saying famously, “Imma hit you so hard you’re gonna shit your pants.” A pretty outrageous thing to say – you just have to take his word for it. He starts punching his hand in a way to show how hard he’s gonna hit the poor guy. “That’s gangsta” he claims. Keep in mind this man’s cousins drive buses so it’s cool. It’s like when you say something racist but you’re like it’s totally cool I have a black friend. I guess this guy’s cousins drive their bus like it’s Soul Plane. Credit to the bus driver for not pulling over and handling this guy because I could only see that ending poorly one way or the other.
About 30 mins later the bus stops, about 10 minutes from my stop. We got a flat tire. OF COURSE. After five minutes I called an Uber and got home eventually. I feel awful for the driver and I cannot imagine what happened at the conclusion of the ride. He was simply doing his job and being pretty calm about everything going on when he had every right to flip out. Dude’s driving a bus on a Saturday, he doesn’t need this shit. If you talk on a normal commuter bus you’re usually shushed by everyone trying to sleep. Here’s this guy acting like he’s DJing for all 60 of us like we’re on a party bus to a club.
If this guy followed through on his threat while on the aforementioned highway…. That woulda been it for ya boy Hubbs, which I guess some of you woulda enjoyed. Sorry to disappoint, I’m still here, and I hate the bus more than words can describe.