Gear Up for the Big Game | New Football T-Shirts, Hoodies, Hats, Beanies, Flags and MoreSHOP NOW

Little Kid At Goodell's Annual "State Of The NFL" Said Something So Dumb Even Goodell Was Shocked

So Goodell’s annual “say absolutely nothing in front of a lot of people” conference was today. I didn’t listen because I’ve learned my lesson and value my time, but it happened. I can confirm that. They even had a big security meeting where they handed out a banned list, pictures included, and I can guarantee you that The Brady Four was almost certainly included on that sheet…

Anyway, Goodell always gets set up for his big softball where a kid reads some question that an NFL employee obviously writes before stealing the child’s blankey and promising to only return it after they asked the question. Today’s was a doozy. “Many people look up to you as a role model and an inspiration.”


Aside from thieves and robots who hope to appear a little more lifelike, who the hell is looking up to Roger Goodell? Who is putting on their shoes in the morning and thinking they can’t wait to bury some CTE until athletes kill themselves? Who’s thinking they need to go and try and frame great men? Who wants to be the punching bag for a bunch of billionaires? Who is thinking “I hope I get a huge bald spot so I go through the rest of my life only letting people see me from the front?”

Nobody. It’s fucking nobody. That’s who looks up to Roger Goodell, the man who homeless people look at and say “Oh no, I’d rather be me but thank you for the offer.” Goodell himself almost choked when he heard that one it’s so preposterous.