I Am Here For All The "Team LeBron Is Cursed" Theories After Boogie Cousins, John Wall, And Kevin Love All Got Injured Over The Last Week

Clem1/31/2018 4:24 PM

Unreleased video of LeBron drafting Team LeBron:

Sheeeeeesh indeed. I’m pretty sure the old phrase is: Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is a motherfucking sports curse. Yeah I know that John Wall’s injury was more of a clean out process. We blogged it twice on this site yesterday. But the Boogie and Love injuries hit out of nowhere like drone strikes on a sunny day. Shitty injuries that make their teams and the NBA product worse.

The bright side in all of this is the return of sports curses. As someone that grew up in the 90s during the peak of sports curse radio/TV, there is nothing more fun than a sports curse. The SI Curse. The Madden Curse. The Curse of the Bambino. Everyone losing their fucking marbles about whether or not curses exist and then whether the curse they are talking about is real or not with actual examples supporting both sides. Before the Hot Take Era of sports media, I’m pretty sure people just debated sports curses to boost ratings and fill dead air time. But once the Red Sox won the World Series, magazines stopped mattering, and the Madden Jinx hit a cold spell, the Sports Curse Era ended (unless an Atlanta sports team is playing in a big game).

The reason this is extra funny is that it’s happening to LeBron. The guy who made #superteams cool even though he says he has never played on one being relegated to a Some Star team. Him having to take on Team Curry with a bunch of backup reserves would be hilarious. Especially with the way the Cavs season is playing out. We are a dozen or so bad falls away from Enes Kanter’s trolling ass starting alongside LeBron, as Twitter loses its mind following each Final Destination-esque injury. And LeBron bailing on a team named Team LeBron to sign with Team Curry would be the most LeBron thing ever (while drafting a bunch of rivals like Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving to a team he knew was cursed would be the most Michael Jordan thing ever. Maybe LeBron is finally figuring this whole MJ killer instinct thing out after all).

Thankfully nobody I care about is on Team LeBron. Actually to be honest I forgot the team breakdown right after it was immediately after it was announced because it was conducted on a conference call like a boring corporate meeting. Let me take one more look at the roster just to make sure we are gucci.