Is Tom Brady Jesus?: An Investigation


If you know me, you know I put my faith in two people: My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and my quarterback and savior, Tom Brady. Both are important parts of my Sundays. Both have brought extraordinary joy to my life. Both have helped me through difficult times. Both have helped bring my family closer together. One saved my soul and the other my football team, and it’s a close call as to which was more worth saving.

Now does any of the above mean that I’m saying the GOAT of religious figures and the GOAT of football players are the same person? I mean, I hear every Mass that Jesus will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead. But am I claiming he’s gotten here already and has been lining up under center for the Patriots for the last 18 years? Not exactly. Which is to say, not directly committing blasphemy enough to spend eternity burning in Hell alongside Hitler, Stalin and Ray Lewis. But I’m not NOT saying it, either.

You have to admit there are ton of uncanny similarities between the Son of God and the son of Tom Sr. Think about it. Jesus and Tom Brady both …

Had humble beginnings:


Have beloved, sainted mothers:


Are one-third of  a Holy Trinity:


Perform miracles:


Say profound, inspiring things you can live your life by:


Are man enough to let their emotions show:


Have been denounced by once-powerful groups who felt threatened by them:


Faced angry mobs for something they did not do:


Suffered at the hands of an incompetent tyrant in order to appease the masses:


Were robbed of their clothing:


And came back after being dead and buried:


You have to admit, the similarities are eerie.

But after giving it a little more thought – possibly in a last ditch attempt to avoid damnation – the answer is no. Tom Brady is not Jesus.


But finishing a close No. 2 is not bad.