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Don't Tell Your Girlfriend, But The Albany Lacrosse Roster Bio Pics Are Here And They're As Glorious As Ever

Albany v Syracuse

I consider myself to be an Albany Lacrosse hipster. I’ve been on the Dane Train since before it was cool and it all started a few seasons ago when the Gooney Tunes up at Albany put together some of the sexiest looking roster bio pics the world had ever seen. It was at that very moment that I realized this was going to be my squad moving forward. And since then, the boys have done nothing but deliver both off the field with their ridiculous looks and on the field with their ridiculous play. This year, they’re a preseason top 3 ranking in any poll you look at. Which just goes to show you that a team can have a little fun and still ball out on the field when they need to. The Albany Great Danes are the definition of “Work Hard, Party Hard”.

Anyway, the roster bio photos have become a tradition at this point and they’ve essentially become a signal that college lacrosse season is finally here. So without further ado, here are the best of the best.

(Quick Disclaimer that as the years keep going, it’s going to be harder and harder to crack the “Best Of” list.)

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Davis Diamond is a sophomore at Albany and already a 2-time selection to the All Roster Bio Pic Team. However, in just one year you can already see a drastic change in Davis Diamond’s overall look and demeanor. Last year he came in as a freshman looking like Harry Potter if Harry Potter got super into vaping and edibles. As you can tell… Albany just has a way with you. Whether you’re there for a year, for 5 years, or 5 minutes, it just has a way with you and turns you into a wild boy. Now Davis Diamond looks like a prime candidate to think the moon is actually made out of cheese, and he has the facts to back it up.

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Look at Connor Filipowski. He looks like an absolute mad man, correct? You look into those eyes and you see a world full of chaos, right? Well what if I told you that Connor Filipowski actually looks way more acclimated to real life society right now than he did at this point last year? For comparison, here’s his freshman year head shot.

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Connor Filipowski may still be a savage. But at least he’s a super classy savage now with that perfectly waxed/elmer’s glued mustache and exaggerated fauxhawk. Still scares the shit out of me, though.

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If you’ve been following along with these blogs since the beginning, then you’ll know that the Eccles family is legendary. Beauty after beauty after beauty. The oldest brother Derrick led the way 2 seasons ago. Middle brother Sean has made a couple of appearances on this blog before. And now we have baby bear Matt Eccles. I know that the Thompson family had a great run at Albany but as far as the First Family of Albany goes, I think we need to give some serious consideration to the Eccles. Matt brings the flow of Derrick and the mysterious “I have no idea what this kid is capable of” aura of Sean. He’s pretty much a hybrid and that tie pulls the whole damn look together.

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It’s really hard to be innovative and original when it comes to the Albany lacrosse roster headshots, just because we’ve pretty much seen everything already. But the shiner? Well that’s a new one and shoutout to freshman Kyle Casey for pulling it off. Now I can’t tell if that’s drawn on with makeup, or if it’s just a regular black eye he got at some point and the timing of the photos worked out perfectly, or maybe Kyle Casey asked one of his boys to sock him in the eye specifically for these photos. No matter how that shiner got there, it’s a beauty. Other teams see this photo in the scouting report and nobody’s going to want to go out for a groundball against this guy.

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Pat Barrow has a healthy diet that consists solely of raw steaks and diesel beers. When he’s not at lacrosse practice, he’s chopping down trees with his bare hands. All I know is that if I’m an America East conference attackman and I know that I’m going to have to go up against Pat Barrow this year, I’m loading up on all the pads I can get my hands on before the Albany game. I’m talking football shoulder pads, bicep pads, elbow pads that go down to my wrists, rib pads, boxing gloves, hockey pants, shin pads, everything. He’s got that murderous look in his eyes and I wouldn’t want to be his next victim.

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AJ Kluck made the blog 2 seasons ago, didn’t make it into the mix last season, but he’s back with a vengeance this year. AJ Kluck looks like the team’s accountant who is in charge of assessing how much money they can spend on their parties. Everybody thinks he’s the calm and innocent one. And then the sun goes down and all of a sudden AJ Kluck turns into the biggest wild card the world has ever seen. 3 months go by and nobody has heard a word from Klucker. Where’d he go? Turns out he ended up in Mexico doing god knows what. It’s Memorial Day Monday. The Danes are playing in the National Championship game. They’re down by 3 at halftime. Who ends up walking into the locker room to rally the boys to greatness? Wouldn’tcha know it, it’s AJ Kluck back from Mexico and he’s ready to go. The Danes win by 40.

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If I’m Doug Goldsmith, I’m looking to see if the equipment managers can cut a hole in the top of my helmet to make sure that pineapple cut can rage freely in the wind. I think that’s the biggest shame out of everything here. These kids are such savages. You see them come off the bus with these looks and you have the fear of god in you. But once their helmets are on, it doesn’t quite have the same effect. Don’t get me wrong. They still play like wild men and you can tell they’re a squad full of goons on the field. It’s just a shame they have to cover everything up with helmets is all.

Like I said, I could go on and talk about damn near everybody on this roster but then we’d be here all day.  These were just the 7 that really stood out to me this year. You can go ahead and check out the rest of the squad right here.

P.S. – With how much love Albany has been getting over the last couple of years, they’ve started a movement throughout the entire nation. Now every team has at least a few of goons in their roster bios. Here are just a handful of beauties you’ll see throughout college lacrosse this season.

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James Pedersen from Misericordia. Little DIII ball in Pennsylvania. Unbelievable locks.

And next up we have some goons from Palm Beach Atlantic University. Honestly, I still have a hard time believing this is a real school. This has South Harmon Institute of Technology written all over it. But if the Palm Beach Atlantic University Sailfish are a real team, then anybody who has to play against them this year is in for a world of trouble.

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P.P.S. – Gonna get the college lacrosse podcast fired up for this season so make sure to give that a listen, especially if you’re interested in some more Albany talk. It’s still not a totally polished product yet but we’re working on it. Here’s Episode 1 of The Crease Dive.

@BarstoolJordie

@thecreasedive