Playboy Is Stealing My Schtick So I'm Returning The Favor: I'm Posting Nudes Now

I really hate to do this but far too many people tagged me in this. Never in my life did I think I would be going toe to toe or dick to dick with the folks over at Playboy but here we are. Look, I dont post titty pics. I dont post naked workout yoga vidz. I dont do that out of respect for the market that the people of Playboy have cornered. That being said, I will be damned if those turds tread on me by saying that there’s certain foods you can stick your dick in. Buddy,,, ITS CALLED GIVING IT THE PIPE! THE FUCKING PIPE!

My response to such an egregious level of disrespect is as follows, fellas.

I will release one nude per year until Playboy officially apologizes to not only me but to Kmarko as well. He’s absolutely sick about this whole thing. He takes my intellectual property extremely seriously. As do I. As do my friends. As do my family. As do on and on and on.

Here’s the first nude:

Incredible yet artsy. Something Playboy used to pride itself on.

Bonus joke: “Never let go (of these thicc titties), Jack. Never let go.”