There Are Actually Lunatics Convinced the Officials Were Helping the Patriots


SourceTom Brady had done it again. … Congratulations were certainly in order … although maybe not from this guy.

Yep, that’s referee Clete Blakeman giving ol’ No. 12 what appears to be a friendly nudge in the back and pat on the chest immediately following the game. Probably a completely harmless gesture, but not really a great look for a referee — especially after a game in which Patriots were penalized only once for 10 yards.

The last time a team had only one flag thrown against them during a playoff game was in 2011, and that team was also Brady’s Patriots.

This time around, the Jaguars were penalized six times for 98 yards.

“Interesting,” Jacksonville linebacker Myles Jack said after being told of the discrepancy in penalties against the two teams. “My thoughts on that is … yeah, that’s kind of self-explanatory. I didn’t know that.

“I’ll just say that’s self-explanatory. Interesting. That’s all I’m going to say.”

Jacksonville defensive tackle Malik Jackson smirked when asked if he thought the game was evenly called.

“The stats speak for themselves,” he said.

I was going to ignore this story. A couple of emotional Jags players in a dispirited locker room saying things after having their souls ground into dust didn’t strike me as something blog worthy. If I’d just watched Tom Brady eat my heart after tearing it out of my chest when I was mere minutes away from having a dream come true, I’d hate to be held responsible for the words that would come out of my mouth. And besides, plenty of Jacksonville players like AJ Bouye were baited with the same stat about the discrepancy in penalties and refused to take the cheese.

So this isn’t about them so much as the rest of the country who saw this video and think it’s legit. Who honestly think this is evidence of some kind of black ops conspiracy at work. I’m talking about the 131,000 likes and 65,000 this stupid shaky-cam Zapruder film has gotten. And the legion of nutjobs who truly believe the Patriots were handed that game by the officials. Sniveling, excuse making sore losers like this little nematode:

That would be the same Max Kellerman who does not want Patriots fans clapping at him on Twitter using @MaxKellerman with two “l”s and one “n.” That Max Kellerman is going full Alex Jones on what a bag job the game was. Claiming the discrepancy in penalties wasn’t because the Patriots were more disciplined. Not because on the PI call that’s sticking up Kellerman’s ass sideways Bouye ran Brandin Cooks out of bounds, contacted him repeatedly in a way that gets called a million times out of a million, and that was the only reason the ball was “uncatchable.”

But Kellerman does it on purpose. To get guys like me to talk about his unwatchable show. The rest of the people who have liked and reTweeted that video don’t have an excuse other than Patriots Derangement Syndrome. So for those dopes, here’s a who Clete Blakeman is. From The Wells Report:


That’s right. This would be the same Clete Blakeman who not only tested the footballs at halftime of the infamous Deflategate Bowl, he was the one whose gauge measured lower than the other one when testing the Patriots, but then mysteriously tested higher when they were doing the Colts’ balls.

And he’s got another great Patriots moment on his curriculum vitae. Blakeman is the one who picked up the flag on HugGate, costing the Pats the chance to run an untimed play from the 1 to decide the Panthers game in 2013. A call that not only cost them homefield in the playoffs, it was so bad that even ESPN was on the Pats side, for Christ:

So yeah, that Clete Blakeman is actually secretly conspiring to throw flags to help his good friend Tom Brady. He might have reversed a call that ultimately forced New England to travel to Denver for the AFC championship game in 2013 and been a central figure in an operation that was launched to make Brady out to be a cheater and humiliate him. But this time? This time he threw the game for the GOAT. Otherwise, why would he pat him on the back, hmmm? It’s the only explanation.


Just keep believing it. Ignore the facts. Tell yourself it’s not because the Pats are better coached. That they’re more disciplined. Forget about Jacksonville taking a knee with a minute left in the half and two timeouts. Don’t think about how the only bad call in the game was the ruling Dion Lewis fumbled when he was on the ground with the ball pinned to his hip. Pretend that the ref didn’t also shake Doug Marrone’s and Blake Bortles’ hands. Whatever you do, convince yourselves the NFL is somehow made up of people who want to see the Patriots win. As long as you do, you’ll never figure out how to actually stop them.

P.S. Remember to NOT Tweet to @MaxKellerman. Do. Not. It would be wrong.