It's Okay To Delete The HQ Trivia App From Your Phone

So I tweeted this out yesterday and was a little concerned with the backlash it would receive. You see, like many people, I first learned about HQ over Thanksgiving break when talking to younger people about what was hot in the streets these days. They said everyone loved HQ and I saw it as an easy way to look cool and hip with the kids. Shit, do people even say hip anymore? Regardless, I got into fidget spinners right before they absolutely blew up (followed by the predictable crash and burn) and it bought me a few weeks of not looking like an old, washed blogger. This is how I looked in the minds of young Stoolies before writing the fidget spinner blog, add a pound or ton.

This is how I looked in the minds of young Stoolies after the fidget spinner blog, again add a pound or ton.

Anyway, back to HQ. Like millions(?) of others, I fell in love with HQ quickly. A little bit of trivia, some money on the line, and tweens flooding the chat room with censored curse words and hot phrases like MAGA. What’s not to love? I even turned on iPhone Notifications for HQ. Letting an app flood your phone with alerts is about as intimate as sex. But I didn’t care, because I was all in on HQ. It may surprise you guys, but I don’t interact with many people when I blog from home. So seeing Scott appear on my screen every day at 3 PM was sometimes the closest thing I would have to human contact after my wife and kid left the house during the day. After finding out that Scott was a Mets fan, I would sometimes even ask him what he thought of the Mets slow winter in free agency. He would never respond because I was simply talking to my screen. But if he could hear my questions, I knew he would agree with everything I said.

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But around the time the Android version of the app launched, things started to break down. Games were getting delayed. Sometimes the app would crash halfway through a game and rejoining was a problem. There was nothing worse than missing out on the chance for your piece of a $20 prize because of a crash. An Android hater would say that this was all the fault of Android hipsters that refuse to buy an iPhone. But I would never say something like that. All of these issues usually led to a notification to be sent. Soon my home screen was bukakke’d with HQ alerts that I had missed. Whenever I did play, I would lose. Mostly because I am not smart enough to make it past question 7. Once I saw that lady lose her shit for $11, it relit the fire in me to win HQ. Then I tried to play, got an error message, and was officially finished with HQ. I tweeted the tweet at the top of this blog and received a bevy of responses in agreement, similar to when I tweeted that The Last Jedi was actually bad. I now know that I was not alone in the battle of deciding between loneliness and HQ. And neither are you. If you want to delete HQ, it’s okay. It won’t make you any less cool and you won’t miss out on being in the know. And HQ letting Bizzaro Me take home a prize mere hours after I let it be known that I deleted the app from my phone was the nail in the coffin. I am #done* with HQ for-ev-er.

If you need something to get you through the tough times, please listen to the soothing music of an admittedly ridiculous-looking Michael Jackson. I think I blocked the short hair King of Pop phase from my mind.

*Unless HQ sponsors The Podfathers, The Chernin Group buys HQ, or Scott personally reaches out and asks me to redownload the app before we talk Mets hot stove

UPDATE: Less than an hour after I published this blog…