Fuck This Old Minnesota Grandma, There's A Spry 99-Year-Old Eagles Fan Who Needs Love

Last night Fox and the Vikings did the best to pimp out 100 year old Millie at the Vikings game, and it’s a wonder that her old heart didn’t give at out at the conclusion. And when I talk about old ladies hearts, it’s usually a “bless their heart” type situation, but this week I’m on the whole opposite shit. This old lady is the enemy this week, so wholeheartedly fuck her.

Behold the company she keeps.

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She dresses like a Viking but moves like rat.

Meanwhile this old legend has been living in Philly since 100 YEARS AGO. And look at the spirit in him! The Vikings put Millie in the front row but I’m about ready to throw grandpa Phil in at middle linebacker. You don’t need a mouth guard if your teeth aren’t real.

The only other acceptable option, besides seeing her as the enemy all week, is for these two to take their shared 199 years of life and forge it into one beautiful bond. I mean old people love. I’m talking about two bathtubs facing a field on a misty day. I’m talking about old people swapping STDs at the nursing home.

And here is a video of some old people making out.