The Cubs Threw Out That Giant Cake From Yesterday Because They Hate Fat People That Love Cake Or Something

This is like the Ron Santo card all over again. Was anyone going to eat this cake? No, probably not (I definitely would have fyi) because these cakes are basically made of Fondant, pipe cleaners and paper mache. But that’s not the point. The point is that you’re the Cubs, which means there is a gigantic magnifying glass on the franchise looking for the next “Cubs” moment. People want to see us be dumb and stupid and throw away cakes and Ron Santo cards in plain daylight. They love to laugh at us and joke about how bad we are at seemingly everything. So figure it out. Realize whatever you do is going to be ridiculed at and stop doing it. Fake give the cake to a homeless shelter or compost it or basically do anything but what you did. I’m sick of being laughed at. Figure it out.