Remember The Dwarf That Used His Car As A Bathroom In His Drive From Kansas To Florida To Hook Up With A 14 Year Old? Turns Out He Wanted To Marry Her So Maybe He's Not That Bad

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He was looking for a little wife. A 90-pound Kansas man, who reportedly skipped bathroom breaks as he raced to Florida for sex date with a teen girl, allegedly hoped to make the 14-year-old his child bride. Newly released details show Christopher Lanning, 40, had mapped out an extensive, sickening fantasy in a series of disturbing online messages, the Orlando Sentinel reported. “I’d be honored to be your man. If you’ll let me,” Lanning reportedly wrote in a chatroom that was secretly monitored by Florida cops.

The tiny creep told her she would need to be “emancipated so her parents couldn’t object” to marriage, the paper reported Lanning, who has dwarfism and is 4-foot-10, allegedly planned to meet the girl at the Lake Fairy motel where would rip off the teen’s dress and impregnate her during an illicit romp. The girl he called his “beloved wife” was far more fantasy than he realized. The underage teen was really an undercover cop.

Longwood police officers busted Lanning on April 8 in the parking lot of a gas station.He had reportedly peed in a bottle during the 18-hour drive from Kansas City so he wouldn’t have to stop, police said. Cops also found a woman’s wallet with $6.50 inside and a picture of an unidentified girl, the Sentinel reported. Lanning faces a number of charges, including traveling to meet a child for sex and transmitting obscene material to a minor. He was booked into Seminole County Jail on $15,300 bond. A judge banned him from using the computer or Internet. His arraignment is set for May 20.



This kind of changes things no? Drive from Kansas to Florida pissing and shitting in your car because you want to fuck a 14 year old so bad = creepy. Driving from Kansas to Florida Pissing and shitting in your car because you want to fuck a 14 year old so bad then emancipate her from her parents and marry her = romance. Just sets a different tone to the whole escapade if you ask me. This is true love. So what if it wasn’t actually a real person and Christopher Lanning sneaky has probably been jerking off to an undercover cop for months. If a dwarf says he’s going to free you from your home and marry you that’s legit, fairy tale type of stuff. Rock on Christopher. Nothing but respect (minus the whole 14 year old stuff, that’s fucked up).





Is it weird that I assumed that they carried dwarfs when they get arrested instead of making them do the perp walk? I just feel like dwarfs have bad balance to begin with so when you handcuff them it has to be an absolute wobble show. Figured the Cop would just carry him like a baby. Guess I was wrong, learn something new everyday.


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