Some Great Songs To Listen To While On The Shitter

It’s important to stay regular, but sometimes you need a little extra in your life to mix it up a bit. The Barstool App and porn poop breaks are essential, but there’s nothing like feeling you get when a song comes on and you realize the fate of mankind is solely depending on you dropping perfect heat. Don’t stand up until either humanity is saved or your legs go numb.

Chariots Of Fire

The heart of a champion combined with that solid sense of accomplishment. Perfect for those marathon sessions. Also the closest most of us will ever become to feeling like an Olympic champion.

 
Eye Of The Tiger

For those fights where you feel like you need to go the distance.

Ride Of The Valkyries

When there is a war to be won. Because you gotta love the smell you leave in the office or school bathroom in the morning. Smells like, victory.

Drop It Like It’s Hot

As self explanatory as it gets.

Jurassic Park Theme

Elegant, sophisticated and thought provoking*. For when you have some time to reflect once you realize they do move in herds.

Super Mario Brothers Underground Pipe Theme

You don’t know what goes on in those pipes, but it’s comforting to the infantry you just released to give them a taste of what to expect.

2001: A Space Odyssey Theme

The Stanley Kubrik special and quite possibly the king of crap songs. Time the heat to coincide with the Timpani’s and you sir are a master of your craft.

*Legitimately thought of this blog when I was shitting and randomly listened to the Jurassic Park theme and sadly realized it was easily the most emotional experience I’ve had in months. The life of a blogger isn’t the grandest.