Advertisement

#26) I Started A Massive Twitter War Because I Offered To Buy Lindsey Pelas For $300

Top 50 Blogs Countdown

Original Post Date: 4/12/2017 

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 9.18.13 PM

I’m on the subway home tonight and I see a little tweet from Lindsey Pelas about people trying to purchase her with cell phones and emails. I don’t even know what that means but I assume it’s creepos thinking she’s some sort of hooker. I can’t imagine for the life of me what would make someone think that but I decided to get in on the bidding and offered 300 bucks.

Little joke about how I’m poor and have no money. She didn’t like that and went straight for the eyes.

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 8.18.50 PM

Now look, people going after my eyes is nothing new. Dave is my boss and calls me a crosseyed fuck every time he sees me. Luckily he comes to my aide during these trying times with retweets like this.

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 7.56.15 PM

Kevin really defended me too.

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 9.03.21 PM

Glenny shamelessly shot his shot.

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 9.04.06 PM

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 9.03.57 PM

I’ll remember that Glenny.

Octagon took offense to a Princes Leia comparison.

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 8.24.05 PM

Maybe the most offensive part? Pelas called me a ginger.

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 8.19.24 PM

And went WILD with some white privilege tweets and blatantly lied about bullying me for my good looks.

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 8.55.34 PM

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 8.21.49 PM

That’s Trump defense 101. “I didn’t say it someone else did and I just openly, vehemently agreed with it!”

White privilege? Honey, you got where you are because you were born with huge tits. Which you openly admit.

pelas-bio

Privilege? You’re famous for everyone looking at you and wanting to fuck you. Imagine looking like me and getting to where I’ve gotten? Some people gotta work for that shit.

Also, shoutout to me for — in the midst of all this — getting her to highlight my merch plugging.

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 8.45.00 PM

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 9.24.12 PM

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 9.24.18 PM

Then she did the thing where she was #done.

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 8.41.21 PM

And I snuck in one last jab.

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 8.42.46 PM

But she wasn’t #done. Kept going, and I think agreed to come on Fore Play?

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 8.58.16 PM

Anyway, I’ll be back tomorrow to blog about Syrian genocide.