#47) The Man Behind The Funniest Court Transcript Of All Time Sentenced To Life In Prison – Relive The Murderer Telling A “Fuckman” Judge He’s Got A “Big Old Donkey Dick”

NY POST – A Georgia man — whose extraordinarily vulgar courtroom exchange with a judge was immortalized by the hit TV show “Rick and Morty” — has pleaded guilty but mentally ill to killing his cellmate.

Denver Fenton Allen, 33, pleaded guilty Monday after Judge Billy Sparks denied Allen’s motion that he killed Stephen Rudolph Nalley in self-defense after just five days in the Floyd County Jail, the Rome News-Tribune reports.

Oh my god I forgot about this story.  This is one of the best ever.  This is maybe my favorite thing the internet has ever provided to me.  This court transcript of alleged murderer Denver Fenton Allen’s exchange with the judge at his hearing.  You gotta read it all:

Screen Shot 2017-12-12 at 11.19.57 AMScreen Shot 2017-12-12 at 11.20.04 AMScreen Shot 2017-12-12 at 11.20.12 AM

Rick and Morty dropped a full animation of it at Comic Con.

My top 5 lines and exchanges:


I fuck white boys.
You know you look like a queer.
So now you’re calling me a queer in the courtroom.
I didn’t call you one. I said you looked like one.

I’ll be honest, this doesn’t seem like the most professional move by the judge, to say a guy looks queer, but hey it’s Georgia.


If you say anything else, I’m going to add 20 days for everything you say.
Fuck you.
Forty days.
Fuck you again.
Go fuck yourself.
A year.
Your mamma.

Don’t care how old you get. A yo mamma joke will literally never not be funny. Feel like it’s high time for yo mamma jokes to make a comeback actually.


You reckon if I let you suck my dick I’ll get a fair trial here?
Oh, I don’t think so.
I don’t think that mouth is big enough, sir. I’ve got a big old donkey dick.

Respectfully calling a judge sir while telling him his mouth isn’t big enough to fit his big donkey dick is such a savage move.


Suck my dick.
Shut up, listen to me.
Suck my dick you fuckman.

I don’t care how esteemed you are as a judge, getting called a fuckman is a big blow. Having a suspected murderer repeatedly tell you to suck his dick while you try to get him to listen is not what you signed up for.


“You will be here in court on Mon…
“You’ll be here sucking my dick.”

Incredible. Absolutely incredible. These two need a reality show ASAP, just as soon as this guy gets out of jail for murder + all the contempt charges he racked up there for telling the fuckman judge about his donkey dick.

Oh yeah anyway, this dude killed his cellmate and just got life in prison.  Sucks for that dead guy but it’s a blessing for us getting to relive this.