All Hail Ginger Jesus. Did Jesus Christ just get cucked on his own birthday? You’re goddamn right he did. Sure, Jesus (allegedly) walked on water, turned water into wine, and cured the blind. But did Jesus Christ ever throw a touchdown pass on a torn ACL? I think NOT. And if he did, I’d like to see the film.
It’s amazing what kind of sacrilegious lengths this fanbase would go to for their sports teams. And I don’t hate it one bit. Carson Wentz has already provided more enjoyment for my life than Jesus ever did in my Roman Catholic upbringing. Yo, Christ, do me a favor and blizzard and/or plague it ONE TIME for me to get out of CCD. Do that and I’d be a follower for life. But, nope. There’s a Ginger Jesus running the show, now. And he will come again to glory to judge the living and the dead, and his kingdom will have no end.