Ever Wanted To Orgasm To The Tune Of Frosty The Snow Man? Now You Can With This New Vibrator

The Crescendo, billed as the world’s first ‘body-adapting sex toy’ thanks to a mechanism in the rubber skin that bends it to fit users’ body shape, has launched a ‘festive playlist’ of vibration patterns.
Controlled by an app, traditional tunes like Jingle Bells, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and We Wish You A Merry Christmas all provide a unique pattern that helps the user to really jingle all the way.

Love it! I cant tell you how many times I’ve been sitting around the Christmas tree and gazing at the presents only to think, “Buddy,,, I’d like to cum right now.” To no avail, I sit there enjoying the music but remain sexually frustrated.

Now, I dont think I would have used We Wish You A Merry Christmas (we’re saying and singing it again) if I was designing this vibrator. I probably would have gone with a more classic tune. Something that really makes you think of good, passionate sex. You guessed it, folks.

I would have gone with the instant classic Dominick The Donkey!

Whatever you do, dont program your wife’s new Christmas tune vibrator with this song. She’d be mad and probably hungry hungry as well.