Live Event5-Frank & the Frankettes vs. 12-Gen XYZ (The Dozen: Trivia Tournament III - Round 1, Match 06)Watch Now
Barstool's Pride Collection | 100% of Net Proceeds Go Towards Supporting the LGBT Community Center of New YorkSHOP NOW

A JetBlue Flight To New York Had To Turn Around Because Some Maniac Started Biting Other Passengers

Sick mini video, YouTube user. Be better internet. Come on!

CBS- A man biting his fellow passengers on a JetBlue flight forced the plane to divert to Las Vegas, where the man was taken into police custody. Passengers on the flight say that somewhere over Utah, the man suddenly began biting his seatmates – whom he apparently knew – and hitting others on a Sunday flight from Los Angeles International Airport to New York-JFK.

Doctors on the flight tried to help by examining the passenger, but were also attacked. Another passenger said he jumped in to help restrain the man. The pilot turned the plane around and landed in Las Vegas, where Jet Blue says the “customer was escorted off the aircraft. Remaining customers resumed their scheduled flight to New York without further incident.”

Now you’re in on the way back to Newwwwww Yoooooooork!!!

Actually lets go with another classic hip hop song for this blog:

Snap back to reality, oh, there goes gravity oh
There goes the crazy motherfucker in 15B, he choked, he’s so mad, but he won’t
Give up that easy, no, he won’t have it, he knows
His whole back’s to these ropes, it don’t matter, he’s a dope biting people THREE AT A MOTHERFUCKING TIME!

Nothing and I mean nothing will snap you back to the reality of going from the beaches of LA to the 20 degree weather of this shithole than your flight being turned around because some mamaluke is biting everyone within tooth’s reach of him. Usually you get that post-Cali glow until you arrive at whatever miserable Tri-State airport you have chosen and have to start throwing bows for a cab or spot on the subway. In a sick way, this weirdo did the passengers on that flight a favor by getting them back in a New York groove of delays and chaos long before the plane started its final approach. Well I guess the people that got a chunk of their skin taken off and are scheduling rabies shots as I type this took an L. But everyone else walked can kinda walk away with a win. Especially considering where that plane could have landed. If that plane reroutes to Salt Lake City, that is an epic loss for everyone. But I’m sure more than a few people on the plane were dreaming of a scenario where that situation escalated and they had to get off the plane in Vegas with enough time to play those slot machines in the airport.

The most egregious part of all this is that it happened on a JetBlue flight. JetBlue should be a safety airline for shit like this. Biters and kickers should only be allowed to go on Spirit, Frontier, and that ilk of airlines. JetBlue has free WiFi, free DirecTV, and an outstanding selection of snacks. It’s a flyer’s happy place. To allow biters, who are wedged in between kickers and spitters in my power rankings of shitty people to fight with. Pulling that nonsense on a JetBlue flight seems criminal in itself. If you are a pilot for JetBlue, you have to threaten to turn that plane around like you are a fed up parent any time a biter reveals him or herself anytime before the landing gear goes down. There’s no place for that shit on the ground or in the air for the GOAT airline.