Jack Nicholson Has Retired From Acting...Wait, What???


DM – It has now been reported that Jack Nicholson has retired from acting at the age of 76. claims that the Oscar Award winning star has quietly stepped away from the movie business without any official announcement. A Hollywood insider told the website: ‘Jack has — without fanfare — retired’. The source also claims that the incredibly talented star is suffering from memory loss. ‘There is a simple reason behind his decision — it’s memory loss,’ they say.

That’s it? No big announcement or ceremony? This is more anticlimactic than a dry handy while watching the final ending to The Sopranos. I mean the man is obviously one of the greatest and most iconic actors ever, even if he really hasn’t done anything special besides The Departed in recent years. Who would’ve thought that 5+ decades of booze, drugs and slinging super dick would result in forgetting some lines here and there and actually believing Anger Management was a good movie to do? Still worth it, and then some.

Jack’s Top 10 Roles:

10. Frank Costello – The Departed

9. Robert Eroica Dupea – Five Easy Pieces

8. Jack Torrance – The Shining

7. Melvin Udall – As Good As It Gets

6. J.J. Gittes – Chinatown

5. Col. Nathan R. Jessup – A Few Good Men

4. Buddusky – The Last Detail

3. Jack Napier/The Joker – Batman (1989)

2. George Hanson – Easy Rider

1. RP McMurphy – One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest

Not even close with the number 1 pick. One of the greatest characters in one of the greatest movies of all-time.

Also, take notes Shia Labeouf, Robert Pattison and all you young assholes who think you’re too good for the scene. This is how you movie star:


This? Eh, not so much. Maybe it does catch up to you eventually. Feits ahoy.