Sports Are The Worst And We're All Idiots For Caring About Them
Sports, man. They’re a real fickle bitch. The Philadelphia Eagles split their West Coast road trip and come back to Philly as NFC East Champions, sitting at 11-2 and at the top of the NFL. For the first time since 2008, it looks like this team will be able to make it past the wild card game considering they’ll likely end up with a bye. And yet everybody in this city right now feels as they’ve been kicked in the dick, watched their dog get murdered and banished to Siberia. Why is that?
Well because within minutes of each other, Carson Wentz went off to the locker room against the LA Rams with a possibly torn ACL and it was announced the Joel Embiid was out for last night’s game against New Orleans with back tightness.
So again. Still managed to beat a great Rams team. Still NFC East champs. And all we came out of yesterday’s game with is the fact that sports are the worst and we’re all idiots for caring about them. Because here’s the thing. You can have the best 14 weeks of your life as a sports fan. You can have a 2nd year MVP-caliber quarterback who sets a franchise record for most TD passes in a season with 3 weeks still left to go. You can have it all one moment and it could all be gone the next because human beings haven’t evolved yet to the point where we have indestructible ligaments. You’d think all those nerds in the medical field would have been able to come up with a cure for ACL injuries at this point but here we are. The year is 2017, almost 2018, and we’re all just one bizarre bend away from 8-10 months of rehab.
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So why do we care? Why do we put ourselves through this shit every single year? I don’t want to be a downer. I’m still remaining hopeful that the injury isn’t as bad as it seems. And Carson has so much clout with the big man upstairs that we can’t rule out a miracle just yet. But people know that drugs are bad for you. And when somebody has an issue with drugs, we try to help them and get them to rehab so they can rid themselves of their addiction. People know that alcohol is bad for you. And when somebody has an issue with alcoholism, we try to help them and get them to rehab so they can rid themselves of their addiction. Hell, even sex addicts get treatment. There are so many things in this world that can be bad for you but we still do them anyway because of the rush or the high or whatever reason you have. Regardless, there are always other people out there who are trying to steer you away from making those decisions. Except for when it comes to sports. We know that watching sports is terrible for us. We know that it brings nothing but sadness and misery into our lives. So why is nobody telling us to stop? Why does everybody just stand aside and allow us to ruin our lives by introducing sports fandom into them?
Because despite the fact that sports are the worst, sports are also still the best. And I’d rather spend my entire life as a miserable Philadelphia sports fan than some noodle who can’t even name the quarterback. And you know what? Nick Foles has a massive hog. That’s a scientifically proven fact. Nick Foles has a massive hog and can definitely close the regular season out with at least 2 more wins for the Birds. Maybe Carson’s injury isn’t as bad as it seems and he’ll be ready to go 4-5 weeks from now at 80%. And if Carson isn’t able to go? Again, Nick Foles has a massive hog. And I can trust in anybody who has that going on even if I know that trust will most likely come back to bite me in the ass down the stretch. Regardless. Sports are dumb. We’re idiots for caring. But I’d rather be an idiot than a nerd and that’s the bottom line. Philly vs Everybody.