HuffPo- Amethyst Realm, a 27-year-old “spiritual guidance counselor” says she’s had sex with at least 20 ghosts. She prefers them to men.
The first experience was 12 years ago, she said, after she and her then-fiancé moved into a new house and she felt the presence of a strange entity.
Realm said she had an affair with the ghost for three years but that it ended when her human husband came home from work early and saw the shadowy shape of a man through the window.
Now Realm wants to get pregnant by one of the ghosts.
“I’ve done a bit of research into phantom pregnancies,” she said. ”There’s a possibility that it is a ghost in you, but people don’t know how to carry it to full term.”
Amethyst Realm has taken more ghost goo than the entire cast of the new Ghostbusters movie. She claims her first experience happened when she was engaged to some poor sucker. She seems extremely proud of herself, too. Whatever happened to loyalty? Why didn’t you tell the ghost, HEY GHOST, I’m ENGAGED! Sounds like this promiscuous little tart welcomed that ghost dick in without a care in the world. Didn’t even ask him his name, whether he was wearing a ghost condom, how many sexual partners he was part of the physical universe. Dude just slid right in for 3 years. I don’t mean to slut shame, but I sure hope her ex-fiancé has found a woman he can rely on to turn down any apparition dicks that hover her way. Isn’t anything sacred anymore?!
“I’ve got no interest in men now.” Well, guess what toots–we’re not interested in you either. I don’t want to get sloppy 21sts from a horde of ghosts! Your vagina is fucking haunted! That shit is contagious. The moment my dick catches the haunt, I’ll have spooky spirits coming to visit me in the night for a quick bang. I’ve had liaisons with partners whose faces scared the bejesus out of me the next morning, but at least they were alive. And you know what else is frowned upon? Necrophilia. That’s sexual congress with a dead body. Ghosts are dead, Amethyst. You’re welcoming dead people into your bed. Stop it now!
And as for your desire to get pregnant? “People don’t know how to carry it to full term.” Oh, you’re saying there have been complications with ghost pregnancies? Tragic. Nothing worse than miscarrying with a baby that DOESN’T FUCKING EXIST. We call it a phantom pregnancy because it’s not real! Phantom, as in… not there. If, somehow, you do manage to birth a half-ghost, half-human baby, we’re going to have some real problems on our hands.