There are a few classic hockey pranks that are as old as time. Like throwing some clear tape on your buddy’s skate blades so he eats shit once he hops on the ice. Or maybe you went to a boarding school in Minnesota and to get back at the varsity team for leaving you with the bill at an expensive dinner, you freeze all of their clothes in the locker room. That one isn’t quite as popular as the skate tape but you get my point. For as long as humans have been playing hockey, the boys fuck around with each other at practice.
Which brings us to today when somebody on the Golden Knights was able to tape a big ol’ dong on Nate Schmidt’s bucket. How he was able to put on his helmet without noticing is beyond me. And a little Stay Woke here, I’m willing to bet that Nate Schmidt probably knew about the Helmet Hog but decided to go out on the ice with it anyway because it would be great for Twitter. Either way, it’s the perfect prank. From now until pretty much forever, the rest of the boys get to call Nate Schmidt “dickhead”, nobody gets hurt, everybody gets a few laughs, and I’m sure it’ll drive Hockey Twitter into a frenzy with everybody rushing to call the Golden Knights homophobic or some shit like that. I can already hear all of the think-pieces being constructed. Sorry, nerds, but if taping a dick on your buddy’s helmet is wrong then I never want to be right.
Sidenote: really hope this is just viral marketing for American Vandal season 2.