War Crimes Trial Is Put On Hold After The Defendant Nervously Downs Poison

Bosnian Slobodan Praljak was being tried in the Hague, appealing a previous sentence of 20 years imprisonment for crimes in East Mostar. After a judge announced he would uphold the original verdict, Praljak apparently drank poison.

After you’ve already taken the poison, it’s gotta really stink telling people that you have taken poison. What did the judge assume?

“Classic Praljak. He’s probably just downed a little 5 Hour Energy. You know, it gives you an energy boost without the crash at the end. Pretty incredible stuff.”

“Oh no, your honor. That was actually poison. Plus, if you’re looking for an energy boost, might I recommend XYIENCE? It gives you all the energy but with great flavors.”

“Say again.”

“XYIENCE. It comes in wonderful flavors like Cherry Lime.”

Praljak’s lawyer chimes in, “My client has taken poison. I agree. The Cherry Lime is fantastic, but the Blue Pomegranate is absolutely divine.”

“Poison? I love that song! Cue the music!”

No judge has ever looked less concerned that the defendant took poison. He could not give less of a fuck.

update: he wasnt kidding. He’s dead now.