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The Eagles Are Playing At An Insanely Historic Level And The Entire NFL Should Be Put On Notice

(He’s no Merrill, as nobody is, but I don’t hate Tom McCarthy in the football saddle calling games one bit)

The Eagles blew out the Bears yesterday with another 20+ point performance, with Carson Wentz chucking another 3 TD’s in the first half, while the Birds yet again beat their opponent by over 23 points for the 4th straight game and blah blah blah blah blah. Over their last four games the Eagles have outscored their opponents 152-45, an average deficit of 26.8 points per contest. It’s fun. It’s great. Is it becoming mundane? Fuck no. We’ll win anyway we can by however much. I will NOT become a spoiled Patriots ballwasher who takes these victories for granted. We’ve walked through way too many miles of shit to become complacent with dominating. I want all the blood.

But it’s not that they’re winning, it’s how the Birds have been dominating. Look at these stats. LOOK AT THEM.


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Individually each one of these stats are noteworthy. A Tweet and a nod. Collectively, all 15 of them are beyond orgasmic. This team is simply playing at a historic level on both sides of the ball. Everything is firing on all cylinders. Plus they’ve got the “It” factor going for them where everything seems so easy. They’re such an unselfish, enduring team who seems like they could be playing the game for fun, not millions.

Shit, they’re playing Tick-Tac-Toe on the sidelines.

While the entire defense is doing the electric slide all over Chicago’s grave during gameplay.

And saving each other from sticking their dicks in crazy.

10-1. That’s it. That’s enough messing around. Let’s take this bitch down THIS year. No Process. No rebuilding. No bullshit. We’ve had enough in our existence. Just like the Bible says (or at least what Mickey in Rocky seys it says), you ain’t gonna get a second chance.


For real. Gotta strike while the iron is hot because nothing is certain in the future. Jim Schwartz is more than likely going to get another shot as a head coach in the NFL sooner than later. Sure, his first run in Detroit didn’t go so hot (29-51 overall, even though he took a beyond dysfunctional franchise that went 0-16 before his arrival to the playoffs), but at only 51-years-old I’d be shocked if he didn’t jump at another opportunity to prove himself at that level. Joe Douglas will also be a first class GM prospect, as well.

But that’s a story for a different time. Right now the Eagles officially can clinch the NFC East with a Washington win over Dallas on Thursday night, or simply whipping up on the Seahawks next Sunday night. One game at a time, baby, till home field advantage is clinched. Till then, keep on celebrating the good life.