I Love The Idea Of Charging Family Members A Thanksgiving Meal Fee

On social media, there was support on both sides, with the majority of people saying they would not cough up $30 for a dinner hosted by friends or family.

So, what if your loved ones charged per plate?

The idea recently sent the Twitterverse into a frenzy when word spread that someone’s aunt was charging $30 a head at her Thanksgiving table.

Lisa Richey, founder of the American Academy of Etiquette, says that while guests should always offer to bring something, the onus is on the host.

“When you offer to host an event at your home you have to accept responsibility and part of that is the financial piece of that,” said Richey.

I love the idea of charging family members for just about anything. Hell, I wish I could charge them shipping costs for presents during Christmas time. Merry Christmas, btw. We are saying it again. But anyway, Thanksgiving… Thanksgiving is a completely different animal altogether.

If you’ve never hosted a meal or day like Thanksgiving, you have no idea what it entails. You have to get up early, prep shit days beforehand, make sure all of your huge plates and pans are clean. Sure, they are in the cabinet and should be clean but those bad boys are covered in dust. Gotta give em at least a rinse.

You have to invite everyone. Invitations. Facebook. Text messages. Nightmare city.

“Is Joe bringing his wife and kids? Are they back together?”

“I dont know. Let’s plan on him being there with his family.”

“Well, can you call and ask? There’s a big difference between having food for just one guy and having food for one guy and his wife and his bratty 5 kids. That’s like a whole turkey. You know those kids are fat as hell, too. Chubby Bunny Head Asses.”

“I dont know, Ruth. Jesus. The guy is going through some shit right now. Just get an extra turkey. Plus, commenting on weight is just offensive.”

“And cook it in what fucking oven, Susan, you fucking bitch. Stop being a pussy and text him.”

“If you’re so concerned, you text him. I’m not fucking doing it.”

“The hell you aren’t. Text him or don’t come.”

“Seriously?!”

And that’s just the prep talk. You gotta clear parking with your HOA. You gotta get plates, forks, napkins. All that shit. Multiple types of cranberry dishes for these picky assholes.

You’ll have dirty dishes to the roof. Your house is hot as hell because the stove has been on for hours. HOURS. HOOURRRSSSS. Everyone else is watching the big game while you make sure there’s enough beer, food, and that everyone else’s kids aren’t destroying your home. Not a daycare, folks. Not a daycare at all.

It’s like because your house is nicer than theirs that they think there are maids that clean it. In all actuality, there is maids who clean up but that shouldn’t matter. Treat people’s stuff with a little respect, a little dignity, a little decorum..a modicum at the very least.

So no. I don’t think going through all that trouble with the chores and solely bearing the financial burden should be all on the hosting family. Drop some money in the cup, clean up after yourself, and watch the fucking Lions play again.

And yes. It’s BYOB, you cheap fucks.