This Hero Is Gonna Launch Himself In A Homemade Rocket To Prove The Earth Is Flat

(WashingtonPost) — Seeking to prove that a conspiracy of astronauts fabricated the shape of the Earth, a California man intends to launch himself 1,800 feet high on Saturday in a rocket he built from scrap metal. Assuming the 500-mph, mile-long flight through the Mojave Desert does not kill him, Mike Hughes told the Associated Press, his journey into the atmosflat will mark the first phase of his ambitious flat-Earth space program. Hughes’s ultimate goal is a subsequent launch that puts him miles above the Earth, where the 61-year-old limousine driver hopes to photograph proof of the disc we all live on. “It’ll shut the door on this ball earth,” Hughes said in a fundraising interview with a flat-Earth group for Saturday’s flight. Theories discussed during the interview included NASA being controlled by round-Earth Freemasons and Elon Musk making fake rockets from blimps. Hughes promised the flat-Earth community that he would expose the conspiracy with his steam-powered rocket, which will launch from a heavily modified mobile home — though he acknowledged that he still had much to learn about rocket science.

OH. HELL. YES.

I know Hughes says he’s got much to learn about rocket science before he shoots himself into outer space with a rocket on Saturday, but I’m not sure you understand just what kind of idiocy we’re working with here so I’m gonna have to show you.

That’s one of Mad Mike’s videos. In the first few moments you have someone referred to as “dude,” which is great at your local dive bar, but less encouraging when you’re shooting people into the atmosphere to take pictures. You then get a sheepish, “Do you know anything about cameras?” as if to say “I’m perfectly capable when it comes to manned space travel but pointing a camera just throws me for a loop.” It all inspires a plethora of confidence that these rednecks in cowboy hats and cutoff t-shirts are really the men for the “dispel scientific fact” job. That’s all before the rocket simply expels a loud burst of steam then doesn’t go anywhere.

Honestly this is going to be the best scientific experiment ever and they’ll be fools if they don’t charge on pay per view for it. It’s like a live Jackass only way more dangerous. If you’re traveling 1,800 feet into the atmosphere, with what I can only imagine will be a disposable camera, then you might as well make a few bucks to enjoy on the way down before your life ends, as you are not Wily Coyote and only get one crack at this thing.

I wish you the best of luck, Mike, but I fear you will prove two scientific theories when you land. It will be a big win for both the “ball earth” and Darwinism crowd.

Hope you enjoy the Elton John song “Rocket Man,” Mike. I only bring it up because it’s you, you’re the rocket man.

PS – No one tell him Kyrie already proved the earth is flat, I wanna see this play out.