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Is This Crazy Miami Hurricanes Fan Gonna Kill Me?

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I woke up to an appalling tweet this morning. A member of my alma mater, a member of Canes Nation, is apparently not happy with me.

As a fairly recent addition to The U, I’d never seen this before. Usually my pals sportin’ the orange and green are stoked that I’m on board, mostly due to me leading the team to a 10-0 start for the first time in almost 15 years. No biggie. ItzAllAbtTheU is unaccepting of what I did for his team, however. Maybe I should have left them in obscurity! He threatened to…and I quote…”find [me] and whoop that ass”. Very ungrateful!


ItzAllAbtTheU then doubled down on his threat of violence, explaining that I wasn’t a fan of the Miami Hurricanes because I had a poll to lead me into this fandom! A poll that the Miami Hurricanes fought to win against Brandon Marshall!

I was fed up with ItzAllAbtTheU at this point, and snapped. I called him a clown and pointed out that he was a hypocrite because his Twitter bio reads, “Always show support no matter what the circumstances”. It’s rubbish and it’s garbage and I won’t stand for it!


Then, it was game over for me.

Game. Over. GAME OVER. That’s all he said. Is he going to show up at the office and murder me in cold blood? Definitely is, right? This guy is a certified lunatic, defending his grown man face paint by claiming he’s singlehandedly striking fear into our opponents.

I think I speak for Canes Nation when I say this guy isn’t apart of The U. He’s not one of ours. We are not accepting him as a fan of our beloved 10-0 football team. Sorry pal. There was a line, and you crossed it.