Chad Ochocinco Vs. A Skateboard Was A Decidedly One-Sided Match

The first five seconds of this video Ocho looks like the absolute cats pajamas. Cigar in his mouth, cruising around the skate park, probably ready to break out a Christ Air or 900 triple kickflip. You know, something light. And then what happened to Chad is what happened to everyone who grew up playing Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater and thought they could just become the next Rune Glifberg or Chad Muska if they bought a pair of Osiris, got some Spitfire bearings on their kit and headed on down to the ol’ skatepark. Nope! Broken tailbone like you read about. Cigar ashes all up in the oculars. Just a tough look to be Chad here and one too many of us remember all too well.

Sidenote – Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater had a top 10, maybe even top 5 soundtrack. I just went up to look up one of my favorite songs from it, “Psycho Pigeon,” and was devastated to learn that it’s very much actually called “Cyco Vision.” I’ve been walking around the past damn near 20 years calling it “Psycho Pigeon” like a rube. Tough start to what I was hoping would be a glorious Saturday. Oh well, cue the music.