It's Time For People To Realize That The Monstars Were Actually The Good Guys
“Space Jam” came out 21 years ago today. So if the movie was a real human, they’d be legally allowed to get blackout drunk at a bar tonight, spend way too much money on late night pizza, throw up in the Uber ride home and wake up the next morning only to realize they need to cancel their debit card and delete at least 3 dozen text messages. Awesome times, right?
Anyway, the movie came out 21 years ago and I think enough time has passed by now that everybody should be willing to admit that the Monstars were the good guys. The Monstars represent everything that we could ever possibly want in professional athletes. They went from being a bunch of tiny little bitches
To getting all jacked up on PEDs and becoming massive, gigantic, real life monsters. Absolute behemoth creatures who became a team full of enforcers using size and strength for intimidation and pure domination.
Now to be fair, the Monstars were more goons than enforcers. They were going out there to inflict the most amount of harm they possibly could instead of using their size to enforce the rules. But still. You have to appreciate anybody who can make the game of basketball so violent. And for a while, this team looked unstoppable. They were the most electrifying team to ever step on the court. This is what professional sports should look like. This is entertainment.
The. Monstars. Are. Everything. You. Want. In. Professional. Sports.
You want people out there with superhuman size and speed and strength. You want domination. You want to be amazed. This is real life. The world doesn’t just automatically hand out happy endings. But unfortunately, the peckerheads over at Warner Bros. do when they had the Tune Squad put together the most ridiculous comeback known to man.
And that, my friends, was a major flaw on the writers’ end of “Space Jam”. Basically all we take away from the movie now is that as long as your team has 1 really good guy, you can beat anybody. Instead of glorifying the TEAM of goons like they should have, the writers of “Space Jam” glorified the INDIVIDUAL Michael Jordan. And that’s disheartening for so many different reason. But for all of us real ones out there who know what’s good, we’ll always see the Monstars as the good guys. And that’s the world I’d like to continue to live in.