An Ode To The Wawa Gobbler
I woke up this morning and couldn’t believe we’re already damn near halfway through November already. Time flies when you hate your life, amirite? But with that realization, I also remembered this is the last full week before Thanksgiving Week. Now I’ve seen a lot of Thanksgiving slander over the last 24 hours or so. To be frank with you all, it’s quite baffling. I really can’t think of a single thing to not like about Thanksgiving. I know people love to argue about which Thanksgiving foods are better than others, and what Thanksgiving foods are overrated and yada yada yada. But I’m on board with all of it. With that being said, this still comes with a few parameters, however. Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, mac&cheese, gravy, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, pineapple bake, it’s all incredible. But it’s all incredible up until the 2nd or 3rd day after Thanksgiving when you’ve crushed the last bits of your leftovers and you can’t even look at stuffing anymore until at least Christmas.
So why am I up here telling you this? Well because this means we now only have roughly 10 good days left of Wawa Gobbler season. In case you’ve never been blessed with the opportunity to enjoy one of these delicious sandwiches crafted by the hands of God himself, the Wawa Gobbler is Thanksgiving dinner on a sandwich. You’ve got turkey, stuffing, gravy and cranberry sauce thrown on a roll by some kid who graduated high school last year and is currently enjoying what folks like to refer to as a “gap year”. Now I could have led off with a glorified photo of the Gobbler like this one
…but we all know the real product looks like the one up top. And that’s what makes the Gobbler so good. There are plenty of other sandwiches out there that are essentially the same thing as the Gobbler. Primo’s has the Pilgrim. Capriotti’s has the Bobbie. I’ve had them all. And what separates the Gobbler from the Pilgrim and the Bobbie is the fact that those other 2 sandwiches are just too good. The ingredients seem to be too fresh. The presentation is too clean. The overall quality is just better. Which sounds like it would be counter-intuitive to rank the Gobbler at #1 based on those assessments. But there’s where you’re wrong. Because when I’m ordering a Gobbler, I’m not looking for high quality. I’m not looking for class and sophistication. Some of us were just born with scumbag taste and we don’t care for the finer things in life. And for those of us not in the Finer Things Club, that sub par quality of the Gobbler really hits home with us. Makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It’s more of an experience that way, and the eating experience means just as much as the quality if not more.
I have scumbag taste and I’m not afraid to admit it. There are thousands of us out there and it’s time that we all become brave enough to admit it. So shoutout to the Gobbler for keeping it real with us. In many ways, I think that we all have a little bit of Gobbler in us. Sure, we may not look as good as we could. We’re barely put together and there are plenty of better options people could go with. People look at us and think to themselves, “holy shit do people actually like you?” But what really matters is that we’re good inside and that’s what it all comes down to. So from one Gobbler to another, enjoy these last few days of the season.