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If You Don't Drink Bloody Marys On An Airplane You're An Idiot Because Science Says So

Ok I maybe ad-libbed the Bloody Mary part rather than simple tomato juice, but what kind of psycho would drink just tomato juice?

Anyway, I never knew this was a universal thing? I thought it was just me. I never drink Bloody Marys, not at night and not at brunch, but if you put me at 35,000 feet I start craving one. I need it more than I need the pilot to shut the fuck up and just focus on flying the plane. From the moment we reach cruising altitude I’m constantly turning around, as if I’m waiting for a friend at the bar and keep looking at the door, and trying to see when the drink cart is coming. I always thought it was weird that I was that way, but I didn’t give it much thought. Turns out my blood is getting less oxygen so my sensitivity to odor and taste is dulled so I actually like Bloody Marys now.

I think this also proves that if you drink Bloody Marys at sea level then you’re a gross person. You like offensively strong tastes and thick, filling drinks because you have shitty taste buds even when you’re not above the clouds. Just get a beer in the morning like every other alcoholic and stop trying to act like you’re better than us because you have celery and some vegetables with your alcohol, you bougie bitch.