If Office Manager Brett Gives The Entire Office The Mumps I’m Gonna Kill Him

So Office Manager Brett caught the mumps. I mean would you look at this clown? Dude almost seems happy about it. Well I’ll tell you what will wipe his mump smile of his smug mump face real fucking quick. And that’s if the entire office catches the mumps. People tell me it’s super contagious too. No big deal. Brett only touches everything at Barstool from the water to our snacks to our air. I can’t even imagine how I’ll react if I contract Brett’s mumps. I was just starting to like him too. But you can’t lose your bosses clothes, consistently fuck up his travel and give him the mumps. You just can’t. The mumps would be the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. But it would also be so Brett. Fucking mump face.