Does This Look Like The Face Of A Florida Man Who Staged A Fake Robbery At His House To Get Out Of Work?

TAMPA — Dwayne Yeager was desperate to avoid going to work Monday, deputies say, but his wife wouldn’t hear of it. So to avoid heading to his fabrication job at Dooson Hydro Technology, deputies say, Yeager staged a burglary of his house. He called authorities shortly after 7 a.m. “I need a sheriff in Brandon,” said Yeager, 31.

He said he was gone from home only 45 minutes before discovering the break-in. “I come back, my door’s wide open. My windows to my son’s bedroom are open. My TVs are laying on the ground,” he told a dispatcher. Deputies arrived at his house, on Bridlewood Way in Brandon, where they found the front door open. Inside, the house appeared ransacked. The front bedroom window and blinds were also open, but deputies say they didn’t see any signs of forced entry.

Deputies talked to neighbors and learned that Yeager left his house about 6:30 a.m. and returned at 7:15 a.m. Someone saw him walk through the front door, lift the blinds and open the front bedroom window. Then he walked outside, where he waited until deputies arrived, the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said. The tipster, whose name was not released, said there was no vehicle at Yeager’s house before he arrived back home. When deputies confronted Yeager with the discrepancies, they say he admitted he had staged the crime to avoid going to work. Yeager was arrested and taken to the Orient Road Jail on one count of providing false information to law enforcement. He was released later Monday on $500 bail.

Here’s what I don’t understand in this story. Why call the Cops? I just don’t get that. Just “stage” the burglary, call your office, tell them you got robbed and don’t go to work. Does Dwayne Yeager work at a place that does a background check on every single one of his excuses? Because if that’s the case that’s an AWFUL job to work at. Excuses are just an unwritten rule of the 9-5 world. It’s like bunting to break up a no hitter. If you can come up with a reasonable excuse your boss should accept it and move on. Car trouble, fake family deaths, fake burglaries, all of it. A boss that would go out of his way to call the police and confirm that your house actually got robbed is not adhering to societal rules. That’s a boss you can’t work for. That’s a boss that cares too much and people that care too much about anything are dickheads. So I don’t understand Dwayne Yeager’s situation here but if he actually had to call the police to make this entire ploy believable he needs a new job ASAP. Monday isn’t his problem, his entire job is his problem, because If you can’t kill of a fake aunt or get a few “flat tires” from time to time then you basically can’t live. Any real boss understands this.

PS

I used to have the “cable guy” come to my apartment every other month. By far the best excuse to use. Believable and doesn’t kill you in the karma department. Everyone knows if you fake break your car enough times it will actually break in the most inopportune time.