Silly Report Claims Winged Foot Members Are Pissed The Club Won't Display Member Donald Trump's Presidential Portrait

Page Six — President Donald Trump is a member of the elite Winged Foot Golf Club in Westchester, and members have come out swinging because the club will not honor him by putting up a POTUS portrait.

Insiders say that the Republicans among the 800 members of the exclusive golf club… have been lobbying for a portrait of Trump to be hung inside Winged Foot’s stone clubhouse. But opponents aren’t putting up with it.

One insider said, “Trump has been a member since 1969, and there is a big push to honor him at the club. We should be proud that the president of the United States is a member of Winged Foot: It is prestigious to have him here. But the senior club management has refused to put up a Trump portrait.”

This is obviously a bullshit story from the Post but it’s got elite golf and President Trump so I’m on the case. In fact our esteemed and kind Editor In Chief wrote in a google chat message, “I didn’t open the article but if the members’ spokesperson is cross eyed that would just be the ultimate trifecta.”

There’s no chance Winged Foot members are squealing to Page fucking Six about who is or isn’t hanging up Trump portraits. Come on now. This isn’t Keeping Up With The Kardashians this is Winged Foot. WINGED FOOT. Basically the Freemasons of golf clubs. Augusta National minus maybe half a rung on the ladder. Winged Foot members don’t run to Page Six over disagreements they settle that shit internally. Like men. Toss on some loafers and head over to the putting green or grab some stogies and settle in for a long game of backgammon. Maybe croquet if we’re working with enough daylight but most definitely not Page Six.

This “insider” has got to be a waiter or maybe a locker room attendant divulging fragments of information to the tabloids. I don’t believe it for a second — zero chance this was a member and zero chance this is a big deal at the club.

You know who’s going to pay for this unwanted publicity? The 2020 US Open participants. I can already hear Winged Foot channeling their inner Trump: “The Open rough just got 2 inches higher.”