I'd Like To Share My Favorite Commercial Of All Time With You

Hello all! Good morning. Hope you enjoyed your night last night. Today I’m sharing with the Stoolies something near and dear to my heart: this Folgers Coffee commercial featuring Paul Stanley of KISS.

If you’re enlisted in the KISS Army like I am, you know that KISS has slapped their logo on literally everything. Shirts, toys, condoms, switchblades, perfume, wine, election shirts, infamously a fucking casket – everything.

It’s like the merchandising scene from SpaceBalls, but real life.

So they cut this deal with Folgers in 2000, because who wouldn’t love some KISS coffee in the morning, and allowed Paul Stanley to write the jingle and film the commercial sans makeup. It tested horrendously with focus groups and was scrapped entirely – it never saw the light of day. Why? Oh, I don’t know, maybe because the jingle is awkward, maybe because Paul is too fierce when he says “The best part of WAKIN’ UP(!!!) is Folgers in your cup!”, maybe because it closes with Paul hitting a ballerina spin that vanishes Paul into thin air, maybe a combination of all of those things.

It surfaced in 2014 and is still one of the funniest videos I’ve ever seen. Why is Paul walking through a circus tent with a lone trapeze artist first thing in the AM? I’ll never know, and I never want to know. The mystery of Paul Stanley’s Folgers commercial will run through my brain until the day I die………….and am buried in a KISS casket.