Marine Captain Has A Gender Reveal Party While Deployed: Results Inconclusive

Man, what a cliffhanger. You have all this puffery about a gender reveal and then leave us hanging? The wife goes to the steps of sending a football filled with powder so that the captain can punt it and reveal the gender of the baby, and it doesn’t work? I wish that the tweet from Fox News would have told us if the baby was gonna be a boy or girl. It would have been very exciting news! Sadly, we only see the pink cloud and not the actual words of girl or boy. You see, we are way too woke to assume that the baby is a girl simply because there is a pink cloud.

The most shocking aspect of this story is that the ball didn’t explode during the shipping to an overseas address. Those boxes usually arrive lookin like they were delivered by Ace Ventura. I’m surprised that this gender reveal football didn’t show up like a glitter bomb.