With The Eagles On A Bye Week, What Better Way To Pass The Time Than To Go On A Serial Bank Robbing Spree?
“Yoooo. I told yous da Iggles goin all da way, dude. Now put the friggin money in da bayg so I can coppa gobbler from Wawa and a fresh pair’a Timbs.”
Apparently our guy over here has already hit 5 banks so his QBR is through the roof right now. That touchdown-to-interception ratio leads the league. Just gonna be a damn shame when buddy doesn’t even get to see the Birds take down Dallas next Sunday night since he’ll be in a jail cell. But hey, you have to at least admire the balls on this dude to rob 5 separate banks and not even think about throwing a mask on for any of them. He’s either too stupid, which is most likely the case, or the hubris high from the Eagles starting off the season 8-1 has him feeling like he can do anything in the world. Maybe it’s a combination of both.
Anyway, good luck to Philly PD on catching the culprit here. That dude could be pretty much 30% of the city. Go take a stroll down Passyunk and you’ll see at least 12 of these guys. Drive through any Delco town and you’ll see this guy on every corner telling you about how much he used to rule in CYO football. Hell, you even have to bring Coley in for questioning here and I don’t know if he’s even stepped foot in Philly before. I’m sure they’ll find their guy but it sure as shit won’t be an easy feat. I just hope they let him bring his Koy Detmer jersey with him to jail to wear on Sundays. E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!!
P.S. – I feel like I’m legally obligated to say if you know anything about the suspect, contact Philly PD.