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Beer Mile Dude Breaks The World Record With A Time Of 4:33

National Post- On Saturday night in San Francisco, Windsor, Ont.’s Corey Bellemore once again broke the world record for the beer mile, completing the ordeal in 4:33.6. It breaks a previous world record, also held by Bellemore, of 4:35.35, which he set in the U.K. in July, 2016.

A proper beer mile consists of four quarter mile laps of a track, each of them preceded by the downing of a beer. The clock is running throughout, so the able beer miler is judged partly on the quickness of their drinking.

One of Bellemore’s secrets is that he runs with a bottle opener, thus allowing him to save precious fractions of a second with a well-rehearsed flick of the cap. All it takes is a second of cap-fumbling, and the record is lost.

“Honestly, it’s just about getting it down as quickly as you can, continuing to move in the chug zone, get out the carbonated burps and keep your laps fast” he told the National Post by email.

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“All I am thinking about during a beer mile are those simple things.. run fast, chug fast, burp and breathe.”

4:33. Get the fuck out of here. I’d have a tough time drinking 4 beers in under 5 minutes. That’s a lot of beer. I could probably do it, but then I’d need to take a nap, jerk off, then another nap. Not go for a run. Not until the next day at the earliest.

I’m not a very good distance runner. It’s probably like my 11th or 12th best sport, which is strange for me to say because it’s not really a sport; it’s what you do in preparation for other sports. As Kenny Powers said, “I’m not trying to be the best at exercising.” The fastest I’ve ever run a mile was like 6:10 or something. I don’t think that’s a humble brag because that was the second slowest time on our lacrosse team. I only beat the walk-on goalie whose nickname was “Burger.” And he wasn’t far behind.

I’ve tried running drunk before. One time, I jogged back to my dorm from near Fenway after a night out. I was wearing dress shoes and jeans and a button-down shirt. It probably took me 2 hours to get back along the river, but it was pleasant enough. I remember the clothes felt uncomfortable for a while until the sweat molded them to my body. After that, I felt like I was wearing Nike dryfit stuff. The best part of running home drunk is that you wake up feeling like a million bucks. The worst part of running home drunk is getting hit by a car.

Either way, this guy deserves some credit. He was FLYING. Clearly, everyone else recognizes that beer-miling is just a fun, silly thing to do. Not Corey Bellemore. He brings his own bottle-opener and studies the sports science of the event. Probably thinks it’s going to be an olympic sport in a couple years. Until then, keep chugging, Corey. If you break 4 minutes, I’ll buy you a beer.