And Here We Have The Most Aggressive Youth Hockey Slash To The Head You'll See Today
So uhhhh yeah. You know how we always say Make Hockey Violent Again and everything like that? Well I think maybe youth hockey might need to take it down a few notches because… yeah.
Gotta be honest. We should probably take the skates away from this kid and maybe have him take up another sport like wrestling or something. I mean that’s some shit that you’d expect to see out of a youth hockey game in Russia. But I’m almost positive the team in white here is the Valley Forge Colonials. It’s been at least 10 years since my days in the DVHL so my memory is a little fuzzy on what rink this is at (definitely doesn’t look like Oaks). But yeah, this kid’s parents must show him Marty McSorley highlights on YouTube every night before he goes to bed. It’s probably in everybody’s best interest here to just keep him off the ice for the rest of his life. If he’s pulling this shit in squirts, could you imagine what kind of damage he’ll do once he gets to the Beer Leagues? Jesus.
Now it’s time to break down the 3 stars from this video because there’s a ton of people in this clip who deserve some recognition.
3*** “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, KID?” Guy
We’re still going to need a DNA test but I’m willing to guarantee that this guy is somehow related to “Way to go, Paul”.
Hockey dads are already crazy enough as is. Between having to get up early for the games, polishing off a 6-pack on the way to the rink, thinking their son is the next Gretzky and everything else that goes into their day, they’re always one minor incident away from completely snapping. So when a slash to the dome goes down? Yikes. I wouldn’t want to accidentally find myself in this dude’s path. For the sake of everybody’s safety, I sure as shit hope the kid who did the slashing didn’t have his dad take him to the game that day or else “What the hell is wrong with you” guy would be waiting by his car in the parking lot with a baseball bat.
2** Owen’s Buddy Coming To The Rescue
Shoutout to little dude wearing #28 here in white. Sees the slash go down, realizes that goon child immediately follows it up with some fisticuffs, and he springs right into action. Doesn’t even think twice about it. That right there is having your boy’s back. That’s what being a teammate is all about. You’re either fight or flight at that moment and 28 wasn’t going to let some little neanderthal beat down on his boy without paying some sort of price. Hope that kid got some extra pizza after the game.
1* The Mom Filming, Obviously
Hockey moms deserve all the credit in the world. They do just as much, if not more, than the hockey dads but without being completely unhinged lunatics in the process. Hockey moms are what make the world go round. And just like a momma bear protects her cubs, a hockey mom will murder everybody in sight the moment one of her kids is wronged. I can’t tell if this is Owen’s mom or not but you better believe this lady was going to give that kid every single piece of her mind if he actually got off the ice at that door. Pretty smart kid to avoid that trap and head down to the other end of the ice, but you know that this mom will not sleep until that kid is suspended for life, the coach of the team has to step down and the refs are fired. Also–I’m not sure if this is just because I spent the last few days watching Stranger Things or not but I couldn’t help picturing this hockey mom as crazy Winona Ryder the whole video.
