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Try To Live A Better Life Than This Lite Beer Guzzling, Projectile Vomiting Eagles Tailgating Creature

That’s not so bad, right? Just your average degenerate not giving a single hoot about his appearance or the fact he’s going to be sporting dentures by 30. Does Barnaby’s in Aston offer dental plans for their barbacks/regulars? Who cares! Good times had by all. Well, that’s until we take it beyond the next level. And I say beyond the next level because I’m not exactly sure where this creature should reside. It should be the furthest away from mankind as possible.

Annnnddddd I’m out. This kid has issues. All of them. And you thought the real life Goldberg was going through rough times with the meth? Try being his degenerate double projectile vomiting worse than one of the infected from 28 Days Later. On cue and multiple times, no less. Talk about a showman. That U-Haul was asking to be corroded, I guess.

Let’s get back to basics at Eagles tailgates. And by that I mean your simple debauchery and coming together as one. Like when Colin Cowherd called us the Dumbest Fans In America and we came together with the most mature, articulate, and adult responses possible: