Super Mario Odyssey Is Fun As Fuck

So the big gaming news over the weekend was the release of Super Mario Odyssey for Nintendo Switch. My Switch was collecting dust after beating Mario Kart and finding out that NBA Playgrounds’ replay value was #actuallybad. My wife started to wonder out loud why I bought the damn thing in the first place since I barely played video games once I hit 30 before I even had kids. So I bought Mario Odyssey partially to save some face with her, partially to see what the latest and greatest Mario had in store, and partially to give the Stoolies a fair review of the game. I wish I had thought of that last part earlier so I could see if Uncle Petey Chernin would pay for my game. But since I get impatient once I decide I am going to buy something, I just took the $60 out of my daughter’s college fund, downloaded the game, and started playing.

For those that have played Mario 64 or Mario Sunshine, the game is relatively similar to those in that it’s a sandbox game with your typical Nintendo cutesy graphics. Since my brain is simple, I figured this game would be closer to Grand Theft Auto Mario Edition than some of the previous Mario games. But I was wrong because I’m dumb. There is a level where Mario does go to the “real world” but I haven’t made it there yet. Regardless, it looks like we will all have to watch this fanmade Mario GTA hybrid and hope there is a day where Nintendo drops the G rating (probably not though).

Speaking of previous Mario games, one of my favorite parts of Odyssey is the occasional warp back to 8 bit Mario. Yeah that’s probably the old, nostalgic idiot in me coming out and wishing for a time when life was simpler. But it really was fun as hell

Not only do you warp back to 8 bit Mario, but there are new takes on that old game. Upside down, spinning around. The creators of Odyssey introduced Mario to a few new positions like a college student and he seems to be enjoying it.

One old Mario fixture that appears to have been left behind is Luigi. That’s right, ol’ Slim Lou with the skinny dick is nowhere to be found in Mario Odyssey unless you count Mario dressing up as the black sheep of the family as Luigi.

Personally I love this move. The only people that willfully played as Luigi in anything were hipsters that wanted to be different. There is a long list of shitty sidekicks in video games. Tails The Fox comes to mind as does Natalia from GoldenEye. But Luigi was the OG shitty video game sidekick that set the precedent for it to be okay for Player 2 to have a clearly inferior character.

The big draw to me for Mario, outside of the main character, was being able to turn into all your enemies. See the silly son of a bitch on Mario’s head?

That is not just any hat. That is Cappy. Cappy is Mario’s main weapon in the game outside of the old butt stomp. If you throw Cappy at an enemy, Mario becomes that enemy and gains his powers. Think of Kirby from Kirby’s Dreamland. Now as someone that loves Kirby and thinks he’s underrated, I love it. I always wanted to be a Bullet Bill and in Mario Odyssey I can snatch Bullet Bill’s soul on some Shang Tsung shit and become him.

Anybody that ever loved the Hammer Brothers Suit in Mario 3 is going to loooooove Cappy’s powers in Mario Odyssey. Because not only can you become some of your favorite enemy’s from the Mario series. But you can become a motherfucking T-Rex.

Me the entire time I was the Tyrannosaurus Rex:

Look, I’m Team Yoshi for life and he will forever be #MyMarioDinosaur. But being a Tyrannosaurus Rex brought out something primal inside of me since becoming a T-Rex is something man has dreamed about since he cowered in caves hiding from God’s greatest predator. Again, since Nintendo is a bunch of sissies, you are not able to eat with the T-Rex. But I’ll take what I can get. Then again, I’m the same guy that wants a Jurassic Park movie where nothing goes wrong and the characters just visit the dinosaurs the entire time.

The bright side to Nintendo being so cartoony and pure is the amount of funny pictures we can get from a sprawling sandbox game where anything can happen and a console that has a Share button.

That’s only after 72 hours of the game being out. Give the internet a month and we should have Mario’s ass getting into some scandalous shit that will definitely cause Peach to break up with him.

Verdict: Super Mario Odyssey is a fun ass game that any Mario fan will enjoy. I’ve heard it’s like mainlining happiness directly into your body. I think that is a little extreme, but it’s still really good and the perfect way for parents to introduce their kids to games. Siena was laughing her guts out everytime I had Mario drop his ass on a goombah because butt jokes are universally hilarious from the time you are born. Again, I haven’t played a ton because I am a dad and I spent my Sunday watching NFL football from 9:30 AM until my power went out and my eyes started to bleed around 11 PM.

But Mario Odyssey is definitely worth the $60, especially if you already own a Switch and need a reason to keep it dust free (and before you say to play Zelda, I am on the record that I am not and will never become a Zelda guy. Mario is my dude).

Also a quick note for all the Stoolies that are fans of gaming. We will be hosting a special episode of Gametime this Friday where we will play Call of Duty: World War II for a 12 hour marathon live on Twitch. Obviously Gametime regulars Smitty, Devlin, and I will be killing Nazis in the name of the red, white, and blue. But we will open have an open invite to all the bloggers in the office to come down to the gaming room and pump some hot lead into the Third Reich’s brain. That’s right, all of Dave Portnoy’s Merry Band of Misfits will be welcome to beat some ass online while telling 12 year olds that THEIR mothers are the ones that are having sex with us. Stream starts at 10 AM ET and goes until 10 PM ET and will likely result in us being the ones who knock once Christmas rolls around and a bunch of fresh meat is released to the online servers.

And since Barstool always loves a good reason to show support for the troops, we will be looking to raise some money for the K9s For Warriors organization during our gaming marathon.

So make sure to tune in on Friday and follow Barstool on Twitch, Twitter, and Instagram for more info about Friday’s COD marathon and all things gaming at Barstool.