You Have To Be An Idiot If You Actually Think People Are Going To Give Trick Or Treaters Marijuana Edibles This Halloween
(Source)- One New Jersey county is warning trick or treaters to be extra careful this Halloween, and to be on the lookout for candy made with marijuana. Officials in Gloucester County issued a warning to parents and trick or treaters on Thursday to beware of marijuana ‘gummie’ candy this Halloween.
According to the state’s Department of Health, there is a significant presence of marijuana candy and other edible forms in New Jersey and other nearby states. Officials say the presence of the edible forms of marijuana pose a risk to users, especially children who may be given the candy accidentally on Halloween. Marijuana candy is illegal in the state of New Jersey and contains THC, the main active ingredient that causes a high.
“Parents need to be aware and check for unusual candy packaging. If they suspect their child has received marijuana candy they should immediately contact their local police department,” and Freeholder Jim Jefferson, Liaison to the Addictions Task Force explained.
Nothing better than seeing an old witch hunt from your youth evolve with the times. When I was a kid, it was razor blades in candy and poisoned apples (even though any nerds that ate poisoned apples on Halloween deserved whatever fate they got). Now in 2017 it’s all about (*Stephen A. Smith voice*) the weeeeeeeeduh making its way into our kids’ pumpkin buckets. Tale as old as time.
Law enforcement has evolved with the times as well. The Man used to have some cop in a uniform tell you about the dangers of trick or treating in school while all you thought about was shooting his gun and how great it was you weren’t learning. Now the popo is spreading their message on Facebook, home to only true internet facts (at least that’s what the majority of people on Facebook believe)
I mean look at that shit. Stalin must be shedding a tear in his grave with this type of rhetoric.
There are a lot of marijuana edibles in New Jersey? That’s your opener for “People are going to give edibles to your kids as you walk around the neighborhood with them”? Who the fuck is going to give away the edibles they paid good money for just to let some kid eat it when you can’t even see the reaction of the kid tripping his balls off anyway? If the angel on my shoulder told me to eat the edible myself and the devil said to give some shitty little kid the gummy that will make me feel happy about my life for a little while, you better believe I am chokeslamming that stupid fucking devil right through the nearest table. I can understand sickos in this world maybe wanting to kill kids because of all the evil we have seen on the news in our lives. But getting them high for free? Not buying it.
Oh wait, there was an accidental overdose once? Shit, maybe this threat is real after all!
Wait, I thought we were talking about kids getting gummies on Halloween. This story is from May. Sure my Halloween candy never made it through the first week of November, but no kid on the planet still has candy in their pillow case come May. Even the bottom of the barrel Halloween candies like Good & Plenty get thrown away by December.
I bet this kid found his parents stash of weed gummies, got a little fucked up, and that was it. Get the FUCK out of my face with that overdose nonsense. If you say overdose, there better be convulsions, blood, or foamy spit involved like in Pulp Fiction. This kid probably felt 1/100th of what Sunday Scaries feel like after getting a free high and took a trip to the hospital because of it. That kid was likely wayyyy worse off once he got back home for eating his parents good shit than he was hanging out in an ER with his phone and free WiFi.
Don’t get me wrong though. You should definitely look at your kid’s candy.
No not because of people sliding weed edibles in. But because you should see what you can steal from your kid without noticing. If your kid struck out and only got one Reese’s, you probably shouldn’t steal that. But if he is flush with Kit Kats, you know you can eat a bunch without him noticing. You know why? Because kids are dumb as fuck.
And then the kicker, we have the physical effects of weed.
Misinformation like you read about. If your kid has red eyes or dry mouth, he may be on weed. But if your kid is happily in his room giggling his dick off at cartoons, he may be on weed too. Either way, if he is out of your hair and I think you have to chalk that up as a W. But again, nobody is giving out their gummies that they paid good money for to some snot-nosed kid dressed as a bum in hand-me-downs. So sit back, relax, and make sure to eat your own weed gummies before you eat your dumb kid’s Kit Kats.